Life isn’t a straight line. Some days are fantastic, others are downright tough, and most fall somewhere in between—and that’s what makes life interesting. Imagine if every day were all sunshine and rainbows; it would lose its spark (and we’d probably miss the thrill of a rainy day). Learning to balance the highs and lows helps us navigate the tougher days with more ease. As a healing family photographer, my passion is helping mothers embrace a full, meaningful life. So, I thought I’d share my go-to self healing toolkit for those blue days. These tips aren’t about chasing happiness from external sources but discovering contentment within yourself. Think of this list like an anchovy pizza—take what you like, leave what you don’t!
Before diving in, let’s explore why you might be feeling down.
I. Why Am I Feeling Blue? How to Ease the Stress
There are many reasons why you might feel down, and understanding those reasons is the first step to addressing them. Below, I’ve listed some common culprits you’ll likely relate to (we’ve all been there!). However, your personal list might include other unique triggers, so feel free to add to this.
I recommend keeping a journal of your happy and blue days. Writing things down can help you recognise patterns, spot triggers, and remember how you overcame tough moments. We often forget just how resilient we’ve been.
1. Bad Weather
For me, the weather has a huge impact on my mood. Those short, grey winter days can feel like a slog, while sunny summer afternoons make us all a little more joyful. If you find yourself feeling blue in the dead of winter, remind yourself: this is temporary. Spring will come back, and brighter days are just around the corner.
If you can, consider booking a sunny holiday each winter—it doesn’t have to be extravagant. Even the thought of a getaway can give you something cheerful to look forward to.
That said, don’t just sit and wait for the sun’s return. Find joy in the gloomy days too. Grey, rainy afternoons are perfect for cosying up on the sofa with a warm drink, reading a book, or playing board games with the kids. These are the moments to savour and slow down.
When the winter sun does peek through, grab it! Head out for a walk in the woods, breathe in the crisp air, and soak up every ray. Nature reminds us that slowing down is part of the cycle—trees and plants do it, and we should too. Embrace the season for what it is, because every day is worth living fully.
2. Feeling Behind
We all have dreams and goals, but sometimes life—or the universe, or whatever you believe in—has its own plans for us. It can be tough to watch friends land their dream jobs, buy their first homes, or start families while you’re still figuring things out. Trust me, I’ve been there.
I’m so grateful to be living my dream as a family photographer, but this industry has its ups and downs, especially with seasonal work. To support my family, I’ve had to take on another job. It wasn’t part of my original vision, but I’ve learned to accept that life doesn’t always follow our timelines. And here’s the truth: there’s no such thing as “being behind.”
Your life is uniquely yours. Maybe you’ve travelled the world, tried new things, or taken detours others haven’t. Those experiences have shaped you into the incredible person you are today. So why wish to rewrite your journey?
Instead, focus on loving who you are right now—the version of you that’s weathered challenges and grow through them. When you embrace this version of yourself, you’ll also be ready to love the person you’re becoming.
If you’ve ever felt behind the curve, you’re not alone. But let’s not forget that money troubles often make everything feel worse, thanks to societal expectations. Now, let’s talk about how to manage the financial pressure.
3. Financial Stress
Money can be one of the biggest sources of anxiety, but recognising the causes of financial stress and taking steps to address them can make a huge difference. Let’s break it down:
A) Overconsumption
We live in a world that constantly encourages us to spend. Social media doesn’t help—following influencers who promote endless products can leave us feeling like we need new clothes, home decor, or gadgets every season. The initial rush of dopamine from buying something fades quickly, and we’re left chasing the next thing in a never-ending cycle that drains both our wallets and our energy.
Instead of getting caught up in trends, ask yourself why you feel the need to buy? Do you need to renew yourself? For me, it’s often about wanting to feel adequate—having the right dress for a party, the right sports gear for an activity. But I realised that overconsumption only adds stress and overwhelm.
Recently, I started unfollowing accounts that push constant consumption and instead follow “deinfluencers.” Deinfluencing promotes upcycling, using what you already have, and buying only what’s necessary. It’s been a game-changer for me—I feel more content and less pressured to keep up.
Why not try it yourself? Move your furniture around for a fresh feel, sell unused items on Facebook Marketplace, or buy secondhand treasures from platforms like Vinted. One of my favourite finds is The Saleroom, an auction site filled with vintage gems from around the world.
B) Fear of the Numbers
Financial stress often comes from avoiding the numbers. Not knowing if you can cover your bills or put food on the table can create a cycle of anxiety. I know this firsthand—my mum and I relied on food banks when I was young, and while there’s no shame in asking for help, it’s empowering to take control of your finances.
For me, creating a budget was transformative. I use spreadsheets every month to track our bills. My partner and I centralised our shared expenses into a joint account while keeping personal accounts for individual spending. Want to give it a try? You can download my Google spreadsheet here. We also use Monzo, which allows us to set up “pots” for yearly expenses and automate payments at the start of the month. This streamlines everything, so we avoid surprises and can manage our finances with ease.
C) It’s All in Our Heads
While financial challenges are real, much of our stress comes from deep-seated beliefs about money—often inherited from our parents or shaped by society. Feeling “safe” with money means different things to different people. Some might feel secure with £2,000 in savings, while others won’t feel peace even with millions in the bank.
Your relationship with money is key. Take a moment to reflect:
- What’s your first memory of money?
- What does money represent to you—freedom, fear, security, or something else?
Journal on these and see if there is anything you need to work through.
For the past six months, I’ve been working on my money mindset, and it’s been eye-opening. If you speak French, I highly recommend the podcast Histoire d’Argent by Fab Florent. It features guests sharing their personal money stories, which can help you question and reshape your own relationship with finances.
If you want to attract more abundance into your life, learning to love money is essential. And trust me—it’s harder than it sounds, but the results are worth it.
4. Not Having Time for Ourselves
As life grows busier with work, weddings, children, or other responsibilities, carving out time for ourselves often feels impossible. Mothers, in particular, tend to prioritise their children above all else—it’s only natural. But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup. To be the patient, kind, and compassionate person your family needs, you have to show that same love and compassion to yourself first.
Start small. Even 10 minutes of “me time”—a bath, a walk, or a quick yoga session—can make a world of difference. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” may feel outdated in modern times, but it doesn’t have to be. Build a support network with friends or family, and consider swapping sleepovers or childcare duties so everyone gets a break. These small changes can help restore your energy and make space for joy.
5. Dealing with Grief
Life is fragile and fleeting—both its beauty and its tragedy lie in the fact that it can change in an instant. While it’s heartbreaking to lose loved ones, I try to remind myself of something that brings perspective: how dull life would be if we were immortal or if nothing ever went wrong. It’s life’s uncertainty that makes it meaningful. Queen Elizabeth II famously said, “Grief is the price we pay for love.”
When my grandparents passed away in their 80s, I felt both sadness and gratitude. They’d lived full, long lives, and I chose to celebrate their journey rather than focus on the loss. But grief is much harder to navigate when a life is cut short.
One of my closest friends, Poetie, passed away in her 20s. She battled depression and ultimately took her life while travelling the world. While it’s painful to think about what could have been, I find peace in the idea that it was her choice—her life lived on her terms. She accomplished so much: surfing competitions, representing major brands, making countless friends, and exploring the world. Though her life was brief, it was full. A shorter life is not a lesser life.
Loving someone is always a risk—it makes us vulnerable. But what is life without love? Without vulnerability? To love fully is to embrace the possibility of loss, but it’s also the only way to live a life rich in connection and meaning.
When I photograph families—mothers, fathers, children—I aim to capture everything they’re feeling: joy, laughter, sadness, even tears. No emotion is off-limits, and every emotion is valid. I believe that by allowing yourself to feel deeply—whether it’s fear, love, or grief—you can begin to heal.
Healing doesn’t mean the pain disappears. It means you make peace with it, letting it sit beside you as a quiet companion. That pain becomes part of your story—a reminder of the love you had and still carry with you.
II. My Toolkit for a More Balanced Lifestyle
Let’s start by defining balance. According to the Oxford Dictionary, balance is “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.” But if you’re chasing a perfectly balanced life, here’s the truth: you’ll always feel like you’re falling short. Balance, much like an old-fashioned scale, is fleeting—everything can feel steady for a moment, but as soon as something tips the scales, life shifts again.
Instead of seeking perfection, focus on aligning with how you want to feel. The first step is to truly connect with and love yourself. Listen to your body’s needs and honour them.
As a classic Type A* personality, I used to push myself relentlessly to hit goals, forcing myself to the gym and berating myself for not achieving unrealistic expectations. That cycle left me anxious and depleted, with no compassion for myself. Over the past two years, I’ve learned to reconcile with my inner child, embrace kindness, and use the tools I’ve shared below.
These tools are not about perfection—they’re here to support you. It’s okay to miss a day or use them inconsistently; just pick them up whenever you feel ready. They’re meant to lighten your mental load, not add to it. Many of these may be familiar, but I hope revisiting them through my gentler perspective inspires you to give them a try.
1. Aligning Your Life with Your Cycles
This is so important. As women, our energy ebbs and flows throughout our cycles, and understanding these patterns can be transformative. Start by tracking your cycle—use a journal, an app (I use Lively), or even a simple calendar. Note how your mood, energy, and body feel at different stages.
For example, if you often feel irritable or achy before your period, log it. Then, next month, when those feelings arise, remind yourself that it’s your hormones, not a reflection of your worth as a mother or partner. If you’ve scheduled a pilates class on a low-energy day, it’s okay to cancel. Swap it for something that nurtures you—maybe a calming yin yoga session or just resting. You’re not obligated to “make it up” later. Honour your body, and keep moving forward.
2. Journaling
Journaling has been a companion of mine for the past five years, though admittedly, it’s something I pick up and put down as needed. It’s an incredible tool to unload the swirling thoughts in your head onto paper—without judgment.
Here’s the beauty: you don’t have to re-read your words immediately (or ever, if you prefer). Just let it out. Grammar, spelling, or structure don’t matter—bullet points, half-sentences, or doodles all count. The goal is to declutter your mind, freeing up space for clarity and positivity.
One of my favourite parts of journaling is revisiting old entries months or years later. I often find myself smiling at past worries, thinking, “Oh, Alba, it all worked out in the end—just keep going.” It’s an act of compassion, seeing yourself vulnerable yet worthy of unconditional love.
That said, journaling can be time-consuming, which is why I’ve let it slide in busy seasons. But even a half-page can make a difference. Use it when and how it works for you—without pressure.
3. EFT (Tapping): A Simple Yet Powerful Practice
This is one of my latest tools, and I absolutely love it! EFT, or tapping, is a powerful self-help technique that can help manage emotions, reduce stress, ease anxiety, and clear troubling thoughts. I use it to address negative emotions, especially those I tend to store in my stomach. It’s a quick practice, with sessions usually lasting 4-12 minutes, so you can easily fit one into your day. I recommend doing it in the morning to set a positive tone for the day ahead. One of my favourite sessions is “Have an Amazing Day” here. I find it best to do it in a quiet space where you feel confident repeating the phrases aloud. A daily practice is ideal, but even one session can shift your entire day. Check out the comment section on Brad Yates’ videos to see how many people rave about its impact.
4. Meditation: Finding Peace in the Chaos
I started meditation in 2020 using the Headspace app when stress was overwhelming me. Just 10 minutes in the morning helped melt away my anxiety and gave me a sense of calm to handle whatever came my way. Now, I use it in the evening, having gone through the Pro program and no longer need guidance. Meditation is a great tool for inner peace and has broader benefits. Once you’re more at peace with yourself, you can extend patience, empathy, and better communication to others, creating a ripple effect that positively impacts everyone around you.
5. Solo Dates
Solo dates might be trending, but they’re truly a wonderful way to reconnect with yourself. Whether it’s a pottery class, paddleboarding, or something else entirely, doing something creative or adventurous on your own is incredibly empowering. It’s all about exploration and reconnecting with your desires. Just remember, it’s for you and you alone—no friends or partners allowed. This time is all about you!
6. Seeing a Friend
Sometimes, all we need is a hug from a friend, though it can be hard to reach out, especially when we’re feeling low. If you can relate, know that most of your friends will be happy to make time for a catch-up. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy—taking a walk on the beach with your dog is enough. And if your friends are far away, try Marco Polo—a great way to stay connected through video messages.
7. Reduce Responsibilities
When life gets too overwhelming, it’s essential to lighten your load. Delegate tasks where possible—ask for help from your partner or take some time off work. Saying no to extra obligations gives you time to recharge and do nothing. Life isn’t just about rushing through tasks—it’s about balance and taking care of yourself.
8. Yoga
I used to think I was too cool for yoga, but a friend convinced me to try it during lockdown, and I haven’t looked back. Yoga has been transformative for both my body and my mental health. It helps you reconnect with yourself and brings a sense of calm. I mostly follow free sessions on YouTube from Jessica Richburg and Bare Female.
9. Seeing a Therapist
Sometimes, we can’t work through everything alone. A therapist can help you navigate tough emotions and blocks. I reached out to a female therapist last year, and after just a few sessions, I felt so much better. Therapy doesn’t mean you’re “crazy”—it’s a healthy, constructive way to process difficult emotions. If budget is a concern, some therapists, like mine, adjust fees for part-time workers.
10. Try Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is an amazing tool to break through fears and mental blocks. I used it to address my fear of pursuing my passion for photography, which stemmed from childhood memories of my mother risking financial stability for a job she loved. Hypnotherapy helps you identify and release limiting beliefs by revisiting the root causes, and then it replaces those beliefs with positive affirmations. After each session, I listen to the recording to reinforce the new mindset. Mahima from Attraverso has been incredibly helpful in this process.
11. Tarot Reading
For the open-minded, tarot reading is worth exploring. It’s hard to explain, but it works. I’ve had several tarot readings that helped me make important decisions, like the one I did when I was at a crossroads in life. I reached out to my friend Jane from House of Jiriki, who was spot-on with her insights. If you’re sceptical, give it a try—you might be surprised. Just make sure to find someone with great reviews, as there can be scams in the industry.
12. Spend Time Outdoors
We were never meant to sit in front of a screen all day. Go outside—look at the sky, breathe in the fresh air. It’s essential for our well-being.
13. Eat Healthy Food
Healthy food fuels our bodies and minds. Make simple swaps like fruits and nuts instead of crisps. Limit caffeine and sugar, but remember that balance is key. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying that chocolate or ice cream—everything in moderation!
I hope this guide serves as a helpful resource as you work toward healing and self-care. Though it’s a bit of a departure from my usual photography content, I believe sharing my experiences with these tools will offer valuable insights for those of you looking to live a fuller, more compassionate life. If you have any questions or want to book a healing photography session or need additional support, I’m here for you.
Alba
*A Type A personality is characterized by traits like competitiveness, drive, ambition, and urgency. People with this personality type are often good at reaching their goals, but this personality type has also been linked to increased stress and other health risks.and urgency. People with this personality type are often good at reaching their goals, but this personality type has also been linked to increased stress and other health risks.
